FFF - The Letter M

 M stands for Monster...Snow Monster to be exact. Pea and Jason were building snow people the other day, which included turning pea into a snowboy. He thought it was hilarious! That is...until the camera came out. He did NOT want his picture taken and started screaming like a crazy snow monster. I showed him the pictures yesterday and he thought he was pretty funny. Go figure. Oh, you can't really see it very well, but pea is also wearing his monster hat that we recently made together. Perfect for the occasion!

On another note, my little snow monster continues to add more friends to his imaginary friend club. He now has a girlfriend named Denny. Denny is apparently a really fast swimmer, as fast as Lightening McQueen. Pea explained that he and Denny swim together every night. They race in the pool and, alas, Denny always wins. Denny also lives with his other buddy, Me-me.

Today, pea told me about Mr. Grayman. Mr. Grayman is a mean guy who only comes out at night. Mr. Grayman comes into Pea's bedroom at night and sometimes sneaks into his bed. Mr. Grayman is also a fireman. Hmmm...could explain why he wanted me to rock him to sleep last night.

Lastly, pea's "brother" has made another appearance. So, he is up to 5 imaginary friends. I am going to start losing track soon! I don't know where this stuff comes from, but he is quite creative and imaginative. It's fascinating.

Check out more FFF HERE.

Perfect Moment Monday - First Smiles

What could be more perfect than a sweet baby's first smiles? Carrot graced us with his first smiles recently and it is so wonderful to see his little eyes and face light up. He has even started to squeal! We stopped everything we were doing to soak in these precious first moments. Such a joy!

I just had to include this adorable tongue shot!! So cute!

Check out more Perfect Moment Monday at Write Mind, Open Heart HERE.

Highs and lows...life with a preschooler

Let's face it...life with a preschooler is both extremely fun and extremely frustrating! And, sometimes all in the same moment. On one hand, I LOVE this age! Pea is so full of energy, imagination, curiousity, and he is hilarious! On the other hand, he can also drive me CRAZY!

The fun side:

• Pea talks NONSTOP (okay, this could arguably be on the not-so-fun side, too!). He loves to tell stories and they are full of all kinds of adventures involving baracudas, sharks, whales, anglerfish, snakes, monsters, and the occasional fire truck and police car.
• Pea also tells stories involving his imaginary friends. You may remember he had an imaginary friend he referred to as his brother. Well, since carrot came home, his imaginary friend is now his sister. Hmmm...most recently another friend has joined his club: Me-me. I have no idea where Me-me came from, but Me-me sometimes sits at our table and sleeps with pea, but Me-me does not live with us. Like Pea's sister, Me-me seems to be a world traveler! Somedays he lives down the street from us, somedays he lives on a boat, and some days he even lives on another planet as an alien! Me-me and sister seem to find a way into almost every story. It really is fun listening to the tales pea weaves and hearing where his imagination takes him.




Pea decided to dump all the laundry and jump into it.


• As you may have guessed, pea is just a little obsessed with sea creatures...specifically barracudas, sharks, anglerfish, and whales. He would much rather watch National Geographical and NGWild than any other TV show. And, he would much rather look at "real" books about sea life than storybooks. At the library, he immediately runs to the science section to find books about various animals. He can name and identify several different whales, sharks, fish, and more. And, he requested a barracuda cake for his birthday. Yikes. I swear this kid is WAY smarter than me. It is a little scary!

• I love that pea can create fun in almost any situation. This week, our living room became the beach and he was running around in his bathing suit, all while it snowed like crazy outside! Hangers become swords, laser beams, and guns (ugh).





But, alas, there are also times that his little preschooler ways drive me NUTS!

• Pea can flip his attitude like a switch and he is so mouthy! He is definitely testing the boundaries right now. He says the craziest things when he is mad. "I want to kick all the people out of this house." "I don't want to look at you, mommy." "You are making me ANGRY, mommy." "You can't come to my (or his sister's or Me-me's) birthday party." Admittedly, sometimes it is hard not to laugh.
• Pea is a very HIGH energy little boy (which I love), but he also gets into EVERYTHING. He always has. It drives me crazy when I have to tell him 5 times to put something down, don't touch that, etc, etc.

• Pea talks NONSTOP. And he is LOUD. Even his whispering is loud. I swear he doesn't take a breath when he is talking. Forget trying to talk on the phone or watch a TV show with him around.

Well, I am sure you noticed that the fun list is definitely bigger than the not-so-fun list! In spite of all of the things that turn me into crazy mama, pea is such a fun, loving, smart, and easy going little boy and I love everything about him!! Every stage is definitely a new adventure.

Open Adoption...What I have learned so far, Part I

Open adoption is not that scary! I admit, a few years ago the idea of an open adoption really freaked me out. I wasn't sure that it was something I could handle, for many reasons. But, fast forward several years and now openness feels perfectly right. Normal in a sense, even though it is still a very new concept for us. As you know,a couple months ago, we opened our hearts to pea's birth family and now have a connection and a commitment to them. Of course, having an open international adoption is very difficult due to the boundaries of culture, language, distance, etc. But, it is possible it it's own unique way. It is just a matter understanding that openness looks different in every situation. Not to mention that technology and some pretty amazing people makes it possible for us to have this connection. It is incredible. Most international adoptees have very little to no information regarding their birth family so it feels especially miraculous to know we have found pea's birth family and plan to have regular contact with them, which includes meeting them the next time we travel to Guatemala (hopefully in 2 years). At this point, we plan to have contact with every 3-4 months thanks  to Victor!

A couple weeks ago, we received even more pictures of pea's birth family and we now have a picture of one of his aunts! Pea was actually very excited to look at all of the pictures we have received, especially pictures of his brother. His face lit up and he said

"this is so cool, mom! he looks like me!"

That alone makes it all worth it. Pea is now very proud that he has a little brother AND a big brother. What a gift!

As I wrote earlier, we had always intended to search for pea's birth family, though we had planned to wait a little longer. But, it happened when we least expected and the timing was perfect. Isn't that always the case in life?!?! For awhile, we debated on whether or not to wait and allow pea to decide when he is older if he wants to search. After much thought, we decided that finding them was not just about pea, but also about us. We wanted to make that connection for our own personal reasons as well.

There are still questions we will never have the answers to, there are limits to our relationship with pea's birth family, and we don't know how this relationship will evolve, but it is a huge weight lifted knowing we have found them, that we have pictures and more information than before and knowing that this will help to fill in the gaps to pea's story.

Coming next...Part 2, Meeting carrot's birth mother

Madly in love

Little carrot is three weeks old today and did not waste any time completely stealing our hearts! It is so amazing how perfectly we have all been settling into our new family of four. Most importantly, pea has been handling this HUGE change remarkably well. It probably helps that carrot is not trying to take his toys, yet!

So far, carrot is a very calm baby though I keep waiting for that to change...he rarely fusses or screams, only when he is ready to eat or when his pacifier falls out of his mouth (grrr!). Of course, the biggest question EVERYONE asks is if we are getting any sleep! Honestly, I can't really complain. He wakes up about every 3 hours and goes right back to sleep after his bottle. We have only had one really bad night in which he was up every hour so we count ourselves lucky. But, I realize it can all change very quickly! 

We are doing great. Honestly! Surprisingly great. I really expected to have some rough transition issues, but that hasn't happened...yet. :) So, we are enjoying every bit of this new little love in our life and I am especially enjoying this time off of work. Initially, I had this crazy idea that I was going to get all kinds of things done around the house, little projects, organizing, etc, etc. Silly me. What was I thinking? So, instead, I decided to only send pea to school 2 days/week and spend the other 3 days with both my boys...doing whatever we please.

Life is Rough

Snoozin' on the couch. He looks big in the pictures, but he is itty bitty.

Snoozin'...again.

OH! He is awake!!! Carrot is more and more awake now and actually enjoyed playing with some toys.

And...back to snoozin'. Playing is hard work!

FFF - Hibernation

This weeks FFF theme is hibernation. Aside from the recent winter storms, we have an even better reason to hibernate...bonding with little carrot!

Jason and I have been off together this week and I have the next 12 weeks off work to do a lot of hibernating...and snuggling...cuddling...cooing...

Carrot has been sleeping A LOT...like almost 24/7. But, each day he keeps those little peepers open longer and longer and it is so fun to watch his eyes literally open wider and wider each day.

 Snug as a bug

 My favorite boys. My heart just swoons looking at this picture. I think I am the luckiest gal around.:)

 Me and my boys. I just LOVE saying that!

Life is so good right now! We are madly, madly in love with the new little man in our lives. Pea is handling this huge change very well, though he is definitely still trying to figure this all out. For the first couple of days, he primarily ignored carrot and went about his business playing as usually. Though, he always let us know if carrot was crying. He gets very concerned when carrot cries. He also told me that it made him a little "nervous" to get too close to carrot since carrot is so small. There were also a couple times when we were all leaving the house and pea said "is he coming with us?" But, pea has started to come around more the last couple of days and has initiated wanting to feed carrot and he has been talking to him more. It takes time, but he's getting there.

Overall, we are doing great! I feel so blessed.

Check out more FFF HERE.

Another Miracle!!

On Saturday, January 8th, we were blessed with another son and a little brother for pea!! Zander, aka little carrot, was born on January 4th. He was a healthy 7lbs 7oz and 21" long.
We received the call about carrot on Thursday afternoon (1/6/11) and he was placed with us less than 36 hours later. Needless to say, it was quite a whirlwind and so exciting!

Initally, carrot's birth mother was not interested in meeting us and did not even have any intention of looking at our profile. By, Friday evening, however, she had a change of heart and we were so incredibly lucky to be able to meet her on Saturday. We spent a couple of hours together getting to know one another, cooing over carrot, hugging and crying, and discussing the future of our relationship. What started out as a potentially closed adoption quickly evolved into a open arrangement and we could not be any happier. What an amazing gift.

We knew we could potentially have a very quick placement, but...WOW...it was fast and so surreal! All the way home, we kept looking at carrot in complete disbelief that this precious, perfect little boy was our son! Just awesome. We are truly blessed

Christmas Day!

Christmas was super fun this year! Pea was so excited during the whole holiday season and we kept ourselves busy with lots of activities: lights at the zoo, Christmas crafts, baking cookies, watching lots of Christmas shows, and spending time with friends and family. It always seems to be crazy busy and goes by so fast, but we had fun.

Pea was also super spoiled this year. Yes, I admit. He was spoiled rotten. Santa must have thought he had been extra good this year. ;)


The calm before the storm
















His very own "READY!!!" AKA...tape measure. For some reason unknown to us, pea named the tape measure "ready" and is obsessed with it!

The one gift pea REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted. Santa came through!

And...mass chaos. Pea also added to his Geotrax collection and it has officially taken over our house. Isn't this ridiculous?!?! But, it has already provided hours and hours of fun!

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays from our family to yours! We hope your holiday season has been filled with love and joy!

Perfect Moment Monday: Answers

As you remember from my last perfect moment post, we were waiting for news from Victor's visit to pea's birth grandparents...

Later that evening, we received an email from Victor stating he had just spoken with pea's birth mother and was going to meet her within the hour! What a complete surprise!! Victor took her pictures of pea and a letter we wrote.

A couple days later, we were blessed with about 18 pictures of pea's birth mother and another family member. Amazing.

We also received more information about pea's birth family.

It has been a whirl of emotions, but I feel a huge weight lifted knowing we have made a connection with them.

It was such a perfect moment to see pea's face reflected back to us in these pictures...something most of us take for granted. A perfect moment of not having to wonder or fantasize. A least for a moment.

It was definitely a moment full of emotions and my mind has been reeling ever since. We are not sure how this will evolve, but making this connection is truly a gift.

Check out more Perfect Moment's HERE.

Before and After - Final

We have FINALLY finished our dining room! One room down...many more to go!

You have seen this picture, but here is the BEFORE.......drum roll, please....


AFTER!!!

I LOVE it!!! What a huge difference, eh?!?! Who wants to come over for dinner? :)

Next...we are building a kitchen island to make our kitchen more functional until we can tackle that remodel project (a few years).

Searching - Perfect Moment Monday

This past week brought a completely unexpected surprise through a random chain of events. I contacted Victor last week (in Guatemala) to arrange a time to skype with pea's foster family. In the meantime, I joined the Guat Mama group on facebook and was reading a thread about birth family searches. One fellow Guat Mama posted she hired Victor to search for her daughter's birth mother and had a wonderful experience. So, I contacted her for more information. One thing led to another and I found myself corresponding with Victor about a search.

Now, we have always planned to search for pea's birth family, but had planned to wait a little longer for various reasons. But, pea's birth family has been on my mind A LOT lately, especially after the slew of earthquakes and tropical storms that hit Guatemala this summer. I would have these moments of panic thinking, what if we miss an opportunity and it's gone forever?

Then, last Friday, I received an email from Victor stating he had found pea's birth grandparents. My heart stopped.

Victor explained that he traveled four hours ONE WAY to the town where they live and was able to get some basic information. He did not meet with them at that time because he needed to do some preliminary investigating first. Now, mind you, he was doing this on his own time. We have not paid him a dime, yet, and we had no idea he was going so soon!

I couldn't believe what I was reading. My heart swelled and I started shaking. For a moment...time stood still and shifted as this possibility seemed to be opening up.

This was a perfect moment of possibility.

The possibility of finding the family that gave my son life.

The possibility of getting information, any information, is amazing. Simply amazing.

The possibility of making a connection, whatever it may be, across the boundaries of country and culture. Because, regardless of what separates us...we will always be connected. Always.

Today, Victor is traveling again with the intent of meeting with pea's grandparents and, possibly, his birthmother.

Needless to say, our hearts are reaching across the miles today...filled with hope and possibility.

Check out more Perfect Moment Monday HERE.

November Roundup

Time to reflect on the past month! November FLEW by so fast and I can't believe it is already December. Here is a summary of November musings, activities, and other random stuff.

1. I am trying to accept that "mommy guilt" is just an innate part of being a mom. I definitely struggle with this, though it ebbs and flows. At the same time, it is also a measure for me. When the guilt starts growing, I know it's time to slow down and prioritize. I just try to remind myself that I can choose to allow the guilt to eat at me or I can choose to use it as a guide to shift gears a little.

2. Pea has started showing an interest in watching Scooby Doo lately, which means straying from Nick Jr. Which means...COMMERCIALS. I.HATE.COMMERCIALS. Thanks to commercials, pea thinks he needs a cotton candy maker. We try to stick to watching shows on the DVR so we can skip through the commercials, but that doesn't always work out. And, yes, I shamefully admit we have been watching waaaay too much TV lately.

3. A few weeks ago, I volunteered at Challenge Day at our local high school. It was amazing. Every high school should do this. If your high school participates in Challenge Day, it is sooo worth being a volunteer. Check it out HERE. I spent 6 hours with 16 and 17 year old kids grappling with some really tough issues and I was blown away by their courage, resiliency, compassion, and willingness to take a stand. It was awesome and I learned so much from them.

4. A few months ago, pea started chewing his fingernails. Not sure why. I then discovered that he was also chewing his toenails. Gross, right? I have not trimmed his toenails or fingernails in months! I learned that he chews his toenails in bed before he falls asleep. Every time I would ask him why he chews his nails, he just shrugged his shoulders so I let it go. The other night I decided to ask him again and he told me he chews them to "get the bugs off." Yes, he thinks he has bugs on his nails and he needs to chew them off.

5. I really hate the "rivalry" between moms who stay-at-home and moms who work outside of the home. I really, really hate it. You all know what I am talking about. We are all doing the best we can so why does it need to be this way? We need to support one another, regardless of our situation.

6. I have learned that you absolutely cannot reason with a screaming, out-of-control child. If fact, saying anything is enough to escalate the situation. Deep breaths. Wait it out. Be there to give hugs when the time is right.

7. Never place a mug of coffee on top of an icy car roof. It inevitably leads to a very cranky morning.

8. I have truly been amazed with myself at how patient and calm I have been waiting for "the call." Seriously!! Of course, I have had a few anxious moments, but they are usually fleeting. I assumed I would be a crazy, anxious, stressed out mess waiting, but I know the call will come at the most perfect time and I feel freakishly calm...most of the time. :)

How was your November? Check out more monthly wrap-ups HERE.

Magic

The mind of a preschooler is, like my mom says, magical! Like all kids, pea has quite an imagination and it definitely makes life very interesting! The pure, uninhibited imagination of a peschooler is such a reminder of how much we lose as we grow older. Witnessing pea's imagination come to life everyday is so much fun...most of the time.

Pea's newest thing is his imaginary friend, his brother. He has actually been talking about his brother for awhile, but it has become NONSTOP over the last 3 weeks or so and his stories are getting more and more elaborate. He often talks about going to his brother's birthday party and driving by his brother's house. His brother does not live with us, but rather seems to move around a lot. Sometimes he lives under a bridge, sometimes down the street from us, sometimes by the fire station, etc, etc. He talks about what his brother wants for his birthday, what kind of cake he is having, his brother's favorite toys, TV shows, and more. He weaves quite a tale!

The other day, however, he was deadset on going to his brother's house when Jason picked him up from school. Jason played along for a little while by asking our typical questions about where his brother lives, what he's doing, etc, and that usually diverts the conversation enough to get home. This time, however, pea was unrelenting and kept begging to go to his brother's house. Fast forward a little to big ol' screaming fit with threats that he was going to kick us out of the house, kick "all of the people" out of the house, his brother was going to be mad at us...you get the picture. Last night, he again started begging to go to his brother's house when we were out and about. He was actually giving us specific directions like, turn left here, go straight, turn right there. Of course, it was always the opposite direction of where we were going. Luckily, we dodged another tantrum when a police car drove by, completely captivating pea's attention.

Nothin' like a police care, ambulance, or fire truck to save the day...this time.

In spite of a few fits over not being able to go to his brother's house, I love listening to pea's stories. Sometimes he makes suff up just to be funny because he is a self-described "funnyman." And, most of the time, he is still able to let his imagination run wild. It truly is magical.

Perfect Moment Monday

The other night pea and I were reading an adoption story before bedtime. We talked about being different and how his skin is like creamy hot chocolate and mommy's is like a fluffy marshmallow. We laughed as we came up with various descriptions for our skin, eyes, and hair. Then, Pea asked,

"Why are people adopted?"

We talked about how some people are not able to take care of a baby for various reasons. We looked at a picture of his birth mother and talked about how he grew in her tummy. He then snuggled up to me and said,

"I don't want to be adopted again."

My heart instantly ached as I was reminded, again, of the loss my little boy has already experienced in his life and that the fear he may have that it could happen again. It was a reminder that love, as we often know it, is not enough and that attachment is not a one time event for adoptive families. It is a process that ebbs and flows throughout life and presents new challenges with each developmental stage.

This perfect moment presented itself in a seemingly imperfect way, but that is often where we find the most precious things! I squeezed pea extra tight that night and we snuggled a little longer than usual knowing these are the moments that help bond us together. And, whatever adoption issues come our way over the years, we will navigate through them together.

Check out more Perfect Moment Monday HERE.

FFF - Give Thanks

I have so much to be thankful for this year. This has been a really transformational year for me, which required a lot of soul searching. The year started out with plans to move away, start a new life in a new city, and change careers. Something I thought I REALLY wanted to do for a very long time. For several years, I just couldn't wait for the perfect opportunity to make such a huge change. Then...the opportunity came. It was right in my fingertips...I was so excited and swept away with all of these new possibilities. A new beginning. It's what I wanted, right?

But, I walked away. It was an extremely difficult decision and I really cried my eyes out in the midst of letting it go...letting go of the dream that I had been holding so tightly for so long. I was scared of what that meant, what I was losing, wondering what would happen now, and having this fear of being "trapped."

But, as the dust started to settle, I felt a weight slowly start to lift and I started to see my life with a new vision, a bit cloudy, but still new. I started to realize that I was not ready to walk away from the life I have. I started to open up my heart and mind to setting roots and really building a life right here. It was not at all what I expected. But, that seems to be the story of my life!

It took having the real opportunity to walk away to realize what I already have and to really envision creating a new beginning right here. Once that decision was made, everything seemed to start falling into place and, for the first time since moving back to my hometown 10 years ago, I finally feel like I belong here. I finally feel like this is home.

Finally feeling settled and knowing this is where we are going to be for a long time is a pretty amazing after feeling so restless for so long. I can finally let go and allow myself to find my place here.

So, this year, I am so grateful to finally feel at home and I am so in love with our life, the life that we completely unexpected!

( I am also so in love with this beautiful Japanese Maple!)

Check out more FFF on Hannah's blog HERE.

UPDATE!!!!!! AMAZING NEWS and perfect for Giving Thanks!!! Remember my dear friends, Brittney & Daniel?? They have been fighting like mad for THREE years to bring their daughter home from Guatemala and they recently find out that they FINALLY have PGN approval!!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE go give them lots of bloggy love. They are sooooo ready for their sweet girl to come home. Click HERE.

Perfect Moment Monday (I know, it's Tuesday!)

Have you checked out Write Mind Open Heart (formally Webbles Wobblog)? She rocks! Every Monday she hosts Perfect Moment Monday. It is about noticing a perfect moment, not creating one. My sister often talks about Perfect Moments so I was immediately drawn to this idea. And, after losing my patience too many times over the weekend to a very bossy pea, it helped me to step back and find a perfect moment in the midst of some not-so-perfect moments!

Here goes:

I LOVE popcorn!! I especially love popcorn cooked on the stove and drizzled in real butter. YUM! That is a rare guilty pleasure as I usually just indulge in the generic microwave variety. Pea also looooooves popcorn and gets so excited he literally bounces around the kitchen as the popcorn pops. The other night I got out two little bowls for our popcorn and pea suddenly stopped jumping and ran over to me. He grabbed one really big bowl and said, "Let's share out of this bowl, mommy."

We then snuggled on the couch under a blanket with our big bowl of popcorn and watched Dino Dan (pea's newest obsession). Pea then gave me a big hug and said, "I love sharing popcorn with you mommy! This is the best!"

Definitely a perfect moment!

Check out more Perfect Moments HERE and link up to share your own Perfect Moment!

What I learned last month

One of my favorite new blogs is Strocel. Every month she posts what she has learned over the month and I love that idea! Sometimes it feels like life is just flying by at lighting speed so I love this idea of reflecting back on what has really mattered over the last month. So, here it goes...

Over the past month I have learned...

• My husband is incredibly handy! He has worked so hard on our house and I am amazed at how much he can do! I remember back when we were buying our first house and he was so nervous about being able to take care of things. Well, he is awesome!


• I have also discovered that my hubby does so much more for our family than what I often give him credit. That is very humbling for me.


• Over the past month, I have really grown to loathe dinner time. Mind you, I love to cook so it is not that. It is the end of the day transition...everyone (eh hem...Pea) is tired, grumpy, and hungry. Predinner time is also known as the witching hour in our house when the little monster emerges. Once dinner is on the table, then I hear "I don't like that. I want something else." Now, pea eats about ANYTHING. I believe this is more about a 3 year old trying to assert some control! It's just a phase, right?!


• Unfortunately, I have discovered that stress has wreaked havoc on my teeth. During pea's adoption process, I started experiencing a lot of jaw and tooth pain. Come to discover I had started grinding my teeth at night. Now I wear a bite splint every night and it makes a huge difference. But, the damage had already been done and my tooth is now cracked. It's a crown for me. Sheez.


• I am constantly amazed at pea's memory. He has this ability to randomly pull out memories of things that happened ONE TIME months and months ago. I have no idea how he does this when I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday. He only needs to see or hear something once and he will remember. Sometimes they are not things I want him to remember...for example, today he mentioned the time I hit a mailbox when we were parking at a garage sale. This happened MONTHS ago! I nicked a mailbox with my mirror and all I said was "OOPS! I hit that mailbox." We never talked about it again until this morning. How does he remember this stuff?!


• Over the past month, I have been reminded that I work with some pretty amazing people who are some of my best friends.


• My dad received a prestigious distinguished alumni award last month from his Alma mater and I was so proud. I learned all over again that my dad is amazing. I love you, dad!
  
  

What have you learned this month? Check out more month in reviews HERE.

FFF - Family Fun

We definitely like to have fun! And, we most often find it in the simple, everyday stuff. One of our favorite activities are family walks in our neighborhood. Have I mentioned how much we LOVE, LOVE, LOVE our new neighborhood??? All pea wants to do is ride his bike and he just can't seem to go fast enough! Typically our walking route entails going to the fire station. Shocking, I know! We no longer live right beside a fire station, but we still live within walking distance of another one!
Another fav activity is playing in the yard. Pea decided that using the tee to hit the ball is just too boring. In fact, he is actually pretty good at hitting a pitched ball! He is much better at hitting that I am at pitching!

Just hangin' around at home. Pea and his daddy ALWAYS have fun together. Daddy has a very special way to always make pea laugh. I just love watching them play together.

Check out more FFF at Hannah's blog HERE and have a great weekend!

Welcome!!!

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Peas and Carrots!!!

Ya know, I really debated over the new name and felt like it needed to be something really deep and meaningful, but nothing felt right. And, to be honest, I just couldn't give up "pea!" So, what pairs perfectly with peas??? Carrots, of course! A perfect pair with their own unique little qualities. I think it's perfect.

As you will notice, I also couldn't leave everything behind so I just moved all of my previous posts to our new little piece of the blogosphere.

Hang in with me as I get settled in our new home and do some organizing and cleaning. In the meantime, make sure you don't miss any other BIG announcements by

signing up as a follower. :)

Siblings and family connections

I recently started reading some of the blogs in the Open Adoption Blogs network (check it out HERE) and there have been a lot of discussions around siblings lately through the open adoption round table. It was perfect timing because I have been thinking a lot lately about pea's birth family and the birth family of our future child. At this time, we do not have any contact with pea's birth family, but we do have some limited information, which is incredibly invaluable. But, it isn't enough. I want more. I have been feeling this sense of loss knowing pea's birth family is out there, somewhere. Knowing that there is an entire family, community, culture connected to my son that we know very little about is very painful sometimes. These are pieces of my son. Parts of his life story. And, there are others in this world who look like him. I find that so amazing to think about. I don't know why, but maybe it is because those connections seem so far away and out of reach. We really hope to find some of pea's birth family, but there is definitely a possibility that we may not, given some of the circumstances.

We are very lucky to have a few pictures of pea's birth mother. I look at her picture and I can see my son through her eyes. I often wonder if his siblings have the same eyes, the same mannerisms, and the same little quirks that make my heart smile. Perhaps one day, pea will be able to see a reflection of himself through his birth family. But, until that time, we just hold on tight to what we do have.

With that said, however, I can definitely see how a lack of information and connection can lead to the development of fantasies about birth families. I even find myself doing it. With no information, we create the story and image that feels the most comforting. So, how do we develop "realistic" images of birth families that we do not know? And, most importantly, how do we help our children do this as well?

How do you try to "fill the gaps" without creating a fantasy image of birth families? And, how do you do it in a way that is validating? As pea starts to ask more questions (specifically, why? why? why?), I sometimes find myself stumbling around trying to answer his questions in simple terms, but I struggle at times! I would love to hear your approach and any tips for having these conversations with your little ones.

FFF - Fall Fun

We have been having a lot of fun this fall and definitely keeping busy! It has been all about pumpkins and Halloween around our house lately. Pea has visited three pumpkin patches so we are up to our ears in pumpkins!

The pumpkin fest started a couple weeks ago...
Pea probably would have taken home every pumpkin in the patch. This is his "cheese" smile.

Posing with Mr. Pumpkinhead

We also rode the pumpkin train which took us to a little pumpkin patch and then pea went on a field trip with his preschool class to yet another pumpkin patch.


Halloween also started tonight for us with a super fun Halloween party! My mom's group put on a really great Halloween party for all the kiddos and pea had so much fun. They played pin the nose on the witch, climbed in and out of tunnels, played tag, and went trick or treating in the "spooky" hallway. Pea especially enjoyed being on stage putting on his "show." He is definitely a little ham sometimes and knows how to milk it! Here is his little spidey pose before "spinning" into his dance routine.

He definitely took center stage!

Those of you on facebook know that pea initially wanted to be a booger for Halloween...then it was a snake...then it was the Masked Avenger (from Backyardigans)...then it was Mr. Cracker (????)...then it was a shark...a chicken...he finally said he wanted to be spiderman. After all that and he ends up being spiderman??? (Oh, you may also remember that last year he really wanted to be a giant clam.) Should I admit I was a little disappointed he changed his mind about being a booger?? How funny would that have been? I had a really great costume idea, too. Oh well! He makes a mighty fine spiderman!

We have more activities this coming week, too. The Halloween parade, trick or treat night, and a fall fest. Hope you are having a fun fall, too!! Check out more FFF on Hannah's blog HERE.